BY OLLY TOMLIN
Yesterday at the Valley the Sidemen charity match took place between Sidemen FC and The YouTube All-stars. This was full to the brim with TikTokers, YouTubers and podcasters from across the UK and wider world. Straight from kick-off the All-Stars number 7 Ishowspeed aka Speed fouls KSI and celebrates like any American would do if they were playing their version of football.
This set the tone for the rest of the match of Speed as he would use his aggression and raw pace diving into tackles, headers and dribbles. Throughout the first half the All-Stars looked the better side under Mark Goldbridge with their style likened to a Mourinho-esque Inter Milan.
Harry Pinero had likened his style of Pogba however upon watching the game I’d say he’s more of a Vidic player always becoming Sidemens FC worst enemy on their attacks. The Midfield trio of Theo Baker Filly and Noah Beck had Sidemen FCs number and was vital in defending and Goldbridge ball taking the ball up the pitch. Noah Beck specifically took controversial signing Chris MD who used to play for the all stars previously out of the game.
However unfortunately, due to roll on and off subs Chris was able to score when Noah Beck was off the pitch. The all stars also had a good attack, their best attack looking like Niko omilana Chunkz Speed and Castro. Niko was a lethal striker beating the Sidemen FC goalie Pieface with considerable ease. Chunkz when given time and space is more lethal than suicide which the sidemen learnt after the 1st goal where the ball is placed in the top left after some help from Pieface.
The sidemen found themselves 2-0 down within 10 minutes with Goldbridge using the roll off and on subs already he took off Speed and Niko for Deji and Danny Aarons. Although no defence changes were made the All stars looked completely different from the first 10. This is shown as the ball comes into Vikstar123 and he is open and able to put the ball into the bottom left hand corner with the all stars keeper Cal the dragon not able to get a hand to it. After All stars conceded they looked brighter with Castro having 2 chances but missing.
The sidemen at this point bring on manny and JME for MrBeast and Vikstar123. The sidemen were able to find another goal through TBJZL where he is played through on goal and just catches Cal the dragon wrong-footed and is able to get the better of him. After this goal it was end to end football with both teams creating chances but it was All-Stars who would strike first. Filly gets the ball on the edge of the box and is able to shift past one and rocket the ball into the top right hand corner which Pieface could do nothing about.
The equaliser from Simon Minter comes from the right hand side of the pitch where Cal the dragon is caught on the edge of his 6 yard box but miniminter was able to beat the content creator Chris Tyson with speed and it was composed to bring the game to 3-3. The all stars took the lead back through Theo Baker who was able to take on a couple of players and shoot from the edge of the box and it rifles past Pieface. Leading up to halftime the sidemen had the better of the chances but couldn’t find the spark that would ignite them.
Half Time 3-4 All Stars.
Castro, Niko and Chunkz all come on for all stars and Zerkaa, Calfreezy and miniminter all come on for Sidemen FC. The sidemen were chasing the game and the chances came for them. It was in the 49th minute where’d they find the back of the net through TBJZL from a quick free kick and TBJZL is able to take it past a defender and Cal the dragon to tap the ball into the back of the net.
Instant response from All stars through Castro who has a first time shot go in the far right corner and is able to celebrate. He takes off his shirt to reveal to the crowd on his vest that his “mom beat cancer” which would be a precious moment for him and his family. 5-4 to the All stars. Throughout the next 10 or so minutes there were substitutes coming on and off for both sets of fans. Until the controversy which many all stars to be a robbery. Noah beck plays a great ball to speed who is able to put the ball in the back of the net and is off to celebrate like Cristiano Ronaldo with a Sui.
Speed is shown the yellow and then Chunkz hands him the yellow card and chases the referee, Mark Clattenburg, who he then whips. After this the sidemen had the better of the game. Scoring in the 67th minute through miniminter who blasts it past Cal the dragon who tries to kick it away after his best 5 minute spell making save after save. The sidemen then take the lead through Chris MD who shoots to the inside of the post and slots it home to take the lead did Sidemen FC.
In his celebration there is no respect shown for his former team when he kisses the badge in jubilation. The all stars are able to find a leveller through Niko after Chunkz long rage effort is saved by Pieface only for it to fall for Niko who taps it home to make it 6-6. The All stars keep the pressure on Sidemen Fc and are able to take the lead in the game again through WillNE who is able to beat every other player in the box and it slides in for him.
This makes it 6-7 to the All stars. Then in the 81st minute Harry Pinero the vidic like Centre back for the All stars goes off through an injury and this is where the Sidemen FC are able to dominate the game. The Sidemen then got 3 corners in a row where they couldn’t create anything. Luckily for the sidemen they got a counter attack where they were able to find a 3v2 where TBJZL does an outside of the boot cross to find to his brother Manny who is able to head the ball across goal taking Cal the Dragon out of the equation.
Then Sidemen are able to find their 8th from a defensive calamity from Gib who tries to clear the ball but can only clear as far as Miniminter who is then able to find the ball to chip Cal the Dragon from about 40 yards out. That sealed the game for Sidemen and Billy Wingrove’s side.
The players all did a lap of honour to show thanks to the crowd who all came out to watch them play. However, I think it was the crowd who should’ve been clapping the players after a 15 goal thriller. The ceremony did have a sour aftertaste however, due to people trying to break in to the stadium and to pitch invaders during the match they were not able to do the trophy ceremony in front of the crowd.
IMAGE – SIDEMEN
